Being in the French Quarter in springtime, or festival season, is like being Marie Antoinette on the season finale of the show "Cake Boss" ; so many fabulous bites of moist and delicious cake to sink your teeth into, and so little time to do it. From February to April, New Orleans is bursting at the seams with cultural events, festivals, and parties that not only keep locals and visitors smiling, but also define the very heartbeat of the city for the rest of the year. And, the heart of the party is the French Quarter.
November 05, 2013
In Catholic school, Sister Roseland would slap my knee and remind me that a gentleman did not stick his knees in the aisle in front of lady. I tried to explain to her that I was freakishly tall and that my desk was far too small, hoping she would cut this giant a little slack. She did so by sticking me I the back of the classroom away from the normal sized kids, where, as she put it, she never walked. I grew to hate being tall. I looked for the lowest soles on shoes and wouldn't dream of wearing boots or anything that added height to what already seemed an obnoxious mistake.
August 02, 2013
I spent approximately five years of my childhood praying to baby Jesus that he would make me a Brady. I loved their house, their dog, their housekeeper, and I especially loved the day Jan Brady decided she wanted out. I thought "I could do that, I can be Jan Brady; I am bitter and jealous of everyone already." Needless to say, it never happened and I was forced to move forward as Ryan: sweet, soft, loving ... well.
April 29, 2013
God forbid I should ever have to take a really good look at myself on the inside. While so many of my friends spend countless hours and countless dollars trying to find themselves, one actually spent more time than I think he should have getting tattoos and donkey in a small Mexican town/prison, I prefer to embrace the mystery that remains in me. Call it fear, if you like, because really, that is what it is. I scare the dickens out of myself with what I already know about me; I care not to scratch any farther than the surface.
January 30, 2013
As most of you know, "Heart of the Quarter" is all about the faces that make this neighborhood the experience of a lifetime for locals and tourists alike. So when choosing my "Heart of the Quarter" this issue, I decided to step outside of my slice of heaven and find a face that represents the city as a whole. After all, we are moving into a season where our entire city comes together for what some call the greatest free party on Earth. And what better face to highlight than that of Mardi Gras itself: Barry Kern.
January 30, 2013
Some art aficionados might argue that the Sistine Chapel and the Mona Lisa are the most beautiful works of art. Historians and architects might debate that the Great Pyramids stand far and above as the greatest architectural achievements of all time. And while Evel Knievel might have found his Harley Davidson XR-750 to be the finest piece of machinery ever built, I tend to think that the human body beats them all.
November 08, 2012
By the time I was 9 years old I had run out of excuses to get out of going to church. I had more sore throats than anyone else I knew, I had headaches, back aches, got attacked by a opossum, my best friend got attacked by a opossum, my best friend's cousin got attacked y a opossum. It was not that I didn't like church or God or the singing, I did. I liked it all. I just could not sit still for longer than five minutes. This affliction carried on to high school where I developed a very intricate string of stories to allow me exit from my desk.
November 08, 2012
I am a firm believer that all great things come in twos. Just look at Laverne and Shirley, The Lone Ranger and Tonto, Sony and Cher, chilled vodka and a Percocet. When one is good, its compliment makes it stupendous. If there were two of me, I would have more time to lie about going to the gym, play Madden 13, and I just know I could at least get one chair to turn on The Voice.
July 31, 2012
Whenever I think of strong women, I get an image of Tootsie in my head, then I refocus and suddenly standing before me are my lady heroes. You know them as Dorothy and Scarlett; I know them as the founders of the "tough bitch club". We will call that the TBC so I don't have to keep saying "bitch" over, and over, which will undoubtedly upset my editor Donna (who btw is the TBC member with the best shoes). Anyway, these ladies made lemons out of lemonade, took the bad and made it good, and stared straight ahead and on the track.
July 31, 2012
Frankenstein might not have been the cutest guy at the bar, and while the 'morning after' might involve washing some green out of your Laura Ashley pillow cases, it's his inner vulnerability and good heart under all that green stuff that makes him, well, irresistible. And, while a date with The Wolfman might not be great for your Scalamandre drapes, it's his romantic background story that could make you look past the furry face and attachment to sniffing our 2(x) ist underwear. Oh, and what about the hot guy living under interstate with half a face and the great abs and silky cape?