By the time I was 9 years old I had run out of excuses to get out of going to church. I had more sore throats than anyone else I knew, I had headaches, back aches, got attacked by a opossum, my best friend got attacked by a opossum, my best friend's cousin got attacked y a opossum. It was not that I didn't like church or God or the singing, I did. I liked it all. I just could not sit still for longer than five minutes. This affliction carried on to high school where I developed a very intricate string of stories to allow me exit from my desk.
November 08, 2012
I am a firm believer that all great things come in twos. Just look at Laverne and Shirley, The Lone Ranger and Tonto, Sony and Cher, chilled vodka and a Percocet. When one is good, its compliment makes it stupendous. If there were two of me, I would have more time to lie about going to the gym, play Madden 13, and I just know I could at least get one chair to turn on The Voice.
July 31, 2012
Whenever I think of strong women, I get an image of Tootsie in my head, then I refocus and suddenly standing before me are my lady heroes. You know them as Dorothy and Scarlett; I know them as the founders of the "tough bitch club". We will call that the TBC so I don't have to keep saying "bitch" over, and over, which will undoubtedly upset my editor Donna (who btw is the TBC member with the best shoes). Anyway, these ladies made lemons out of lemonade, took the bad and made it good, and stared straight ahead and on the track.
July 31, 2012
Frankenstein might not have been the cutest guy at the bar, and while the 'morning after' might involve washing some green out of your Laura Ashley pillow cases, it's his inner vulnerability and good heart under all that green stuff that makes him, well, irresistible. And, while a date with The Wolfman might not be great for your Scalamandre drapes, it's his romantic background story that could make you look past the furry face and attachment to sniffing our 2(x) ist underwear. Oh, and what about the hot guy living under interstate with half a face and the great abs and silky cape?